Many times I have wondered, when I look up at the night sky and see the Moon, seemingly nearby, "Is it possible that the Moon is not 238,000 miles away? Because if it was that far away, it would have to be really big for we Earthlings to see it from that far away. Maybe the Moon is only 17,000 miles away, and the scientists have it all wrong. Maybe when they measure the light rays coming in from outer space, between here and the Moon, the readings are inaccurate because of clouds and moisture in the lower atmosphere of the Earth." Maybe you have wondered the same thing, and pondered the accuracy of science in general, and been outraged that astronomers and scientists would make bold claims about how far away the Moon is.
I say it is time we call the bluff of the scientists, and show them how smart we are. Let's do some really logical computations about how dang far away the Moon actually is. Let's show those arrogant scientists that we know a thing or two about figuring out how far away the Moon is. And after we prove we are bright and capable of highly accurate layperson computations to arrive at the distance of the Moon from the Earth, then we will solve other age-old scientific mysteries. So move out of the way, Scientists! I am ready to prove my scholarly mettle!
When you look up at the Moon in the sky, it takes up one inch of the width of the Sky. When you hold up a ruler at arm's length, and put it right where the Moon is in the Sky, it is exactly one inch wide. No one can dispute that. Rulers do not lie. If I ruled over a Nation, would I lie to my people? No, you know I would not.
At 238,000 miles away from Earth, the Moon is one inch wide. At 119,000 miles away, it would be two inches wide. For ease of computation, instead of saying, at 59,500 miles away, let's go ahead and round it up to 60,000 miles. That is the only scientifically sound thing to do, since archeological eras are estimated in millions of years by scientists all the time. So, back to our scholarly figures. At 60,000 miles away, the Moon would be four inches wide. At 30,000 miles away, it would be eight inches wide. At 15,000 miles away, it would be 16 inches wide. At 7,500 miles away, it would be 32 inches wide. At 3,750 miles away, it would be 64 inches wide. At 1,875 miles away, it would be 128 inches wide. At 938 miles away, it would 256 inches wide. At 469 miles away, it would be 512 inches wide. At 235 miles away, it would be 1,024 inches wide. At 117 miles away, it would be 2,048 inches wide. At 59 miles away, it would be 4,096 inches wide. At 30 miles away, it would be 8,192 inches wide. At 15 miles away, it would 16,388 inches wide. At 7-1/2 miles away, it would be 32,772 inches wide. At 3-3/4 miles away, it would be 65,544 inches wide. At 1.88 miles away, it would be 131,088 inches wide. At .94 miles away, it would be 262,176 inches wide. At .47 miles away, it would be 524,352 inches wide. At .235 miles away, it would be 1,048,704 inches wide. At .1175 miles away, it would be 2,097,408 inches wide. At .05825 miles away, it would be 4,194,816inches wide. At .029375 miles away, it would be 8,389,632 inches wide. At .0146875 miles away, it would be 16,779,264 inches wide. At .00734375 miles away, it would be 33,558,528 inches wide. At .003671875 miles away, it would be 67,117,056 inches wide. At .001809375 miles away, it would be 134,234,112 inches wide.
In other words, if the Moon was only 9 feet 7 inches away from the Earth, it would be 2,119 miles wide. Scientists claim the Moon is about 2,160 miles wide. Obviously, my calculations, based on little more than common sense, are highly accurate. All those science books should be revised as soon as possible to reflect that the Moon is 233,482.4 miles from the Earth. What do you say? Let's all meet at the Griffith Park Observatory and have a big party. With beer kegs and pretzels. Please do not bring any boom boxes because then I would have to calculate how far the sound of a 105 decibel boombox travels in a vacuum.
(c) 2012 by Hooknose McGee
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